Vacant House
Thursday 14 August 2014
041
Where I am treated like a puppet
I'll treat everyone to a show
Make them laugh
Then they'll throw some pennies
Or maybe leave without giving anything
Either way
I want to get off this stage
I don't need to be played
Nor do I require strings attached
To my bones
Lifting me up
And then dropping me down
Swinging me all around
I can barely see straight
And I know that it's time
Before I spiral out of control
To get myself out of this town
Tuesday 22 July 2014
040
the woman ends her call
retrieves a cigarette
and momentarily allows
the life to be
sucked out of her lungs
hanging up
a basket of flowers
beside her front door
the woman wants herself
to feel welcome
although, the visitors don't come
hanging up
the man expertly ties a length of rope
he had been here before
remembering the flowers
he had bought her a week ago
now there were nothing but weeds
growing in his throat
hanging up
the man looks outside
lines of communication
draw a pretty picture in the battered sky
and above he sees two birds fly
the man puts down the phone
Sunday 20 July 2014
039
And discover the fire
Languid flames flickering
Droopy lids sliding
Down the walls of my exterior
I am living in my body
I am dying in my body
Before the wolf
Blows down my being
Tell me why
Why I shouldn't be
Contemplating jumping off my house
Crossing the roads when
The cars are dangerously near
Hoping that my line will lie flat
Against the hospital monitor
There is nothing left
New wallpaper will be bought
With a pathetic attempt to cover up
The struggles I have encountered
Why don't you see
Why don't you see
Maybe their eyelids are drooping
too
Maybe they are being paid
To decorate as they once were as well
A long time ago
My walls may be well built but
You keep covering the surface
Because once one sees the surface
They can enter my being
And be told the most
Chilling tales
Then maybe they can shred
A little more skin
Dig a little deeper than the surface
And play hide and seek too
Saturday 14 June 2014
038
I feel
As if I am not really here
But rather that I am
Floating on thin air
The air becomes hot
And suddenly it is hard to breathe
Particles which conclude my demons
Arrive at the tip of my tongue
And together they breed
In another dimension
A whole lifetime away
A womb is occupied
By a small, almost life-like child
But it was deformed
It never really got the chance
To drain the oxygen from my blood
Before I ordered for them to take it away
Illegal white gloves
And deceiving green cloaks
Pulled you out of me
But who are they to blame
I asked them to help me kill you
Anyway
I hope
That one day you will understand
I couldn't stay awake anymore
Couldn't cope with the pressure
Of the particles moving my tongue
The dust that had accumulated
In my throat
Drowned my voice and
Made what I said blunt
So premature child
Tell me
Is it too early to want to die
Because I swear to god
That day when you came out of me
And refused to cry
You looked at me with disgust
As if I should have left you
Lying
Against the weak walls of my uterus
For the concrete to knock your spine
And leave you lifeless
Selfish I am
I already know
But I wanted to have something
To live for myself
And now as I wipe the blood
Off your left knee
After your first day
Of primary
You look down at me
As if to ask
Why I brought you here
Because my demons
Pushed you over too
Friday 6 June 2014
037
Tuesday 27 May 2014
036
Sunday 25 May 2014
035
but do not expose me
know that if i am lost
do not try to find me
i want to die
i want to die
i am ready to say goodbye
but i can't
because how can someone die
if they haven't even lived
i feel as though i am
in a bee hive
sickly sweet torture
and i can do nothing
but
succumb to the pressure
i am ready to be on a flight
far far away from here
but there's no escape
i am